Crab Sticks

Birthday’s coming up in two days, and for the second time in my life, I am not excitedly planning my party. I am dreading it, actually. Plus, I’ve been spending too much on trips back to Cavite for our group’s campaign (an outreach program of some sort) which means I’m declaring a state of bankruptcy right smack on my birthday. Iwas libre.

Hmm. God, I’m getting old. I’ll be 18 – not a minor anymore. Ugh. Nothing too special about that now, huh? Oh-kay… so on to my new post. I’m now in my morbid mode which should explain the contents of this entry. I just wanna make sure that if I suddenly die, things will be done properly.

I want a simple white casket, no tinselly thingamajigs on the sides please. I find that tacky. Silver accents would be fine, but just a little. I want my casket to be open. Make me wear a simple white shirt, jeans and Chucks. If my face was disfigured or horribly bruised during my death (let’s consider all possibilities - even the most undesirable ones), please have the casket closed and make it stay that way. The last thing I want to become is the horrible monster that lurks in my loved ones’ nightmares.

I want my makeup to be done lightly.

Arlington’s chapel is nice and spacious enough. I like it.

Skip the peanuts and the tetra-pack juices. Only good food should be served during my wake. Pistachios should be everywhere. Just ask the people close to me what I love eating – that’s what I want in my wake.

My favorite songs should be heard softly in the background during my wake.

Sa mami ko, you are the number one woman in my life. Be happy.

To my little sisters, enjoy life, break rules if you need to, mag-asawa ng gwapo. Think of your children.

To the people who constantly attempted to make my existence an annex of hell, kindly brace yourselves for horrible nightmares.

Sa asawa ko, ‘lam mo na yun. Should I leave the world at this moment, I wish to see you in another lifetime. My life may end but my feelings for you won’t. Ingat palagi.

Happy, 18th birthday to me.